A few Choice words. (Edited!)
winter, sleep
operationtyler
( An edited version of a post made in an older journal.)

Alright well I've had this journal for a good while now and I think this page has been blank for far to long, if nothing else I'll do an opening post for the public. Maybe talk a few people into adding me.

Though, to avoid random adds, I am putting up a warning.

WARNING: So this journal will indeed hold ALL sorts of stuff, so it will be f-locked most of the time. Like all things, this won't always hold a lot of happy go lucky post,and I alway don't promise to post all the time. Odds are I will go weeks without saying anything, though when I do I'm actully going to put some thought into a lot of what I'm posting here.

Now here's the IMPORTANT WARNING part: I will NOT take caution in the subjects I'll be talking about here. So that means read with an open mind! To be honest I take note of what I post everywhere else, I want and need a free space, I won't slap you in the face with what I have to say, but I won't hide it either. I may lj cut a few thing but thats all the warning you will get.


I guess I could do a quick...about me thing...I guess.

Basics:
• I’m 20 years old, look like I'm a lot younger and hate it.
• I will disclose here that I am FtM, trust me, that doesn't make life very easy.
• I have a roommate, who is pretty interesting in her own right.
• I’m a an artist, and a writer.
• Um, as noted I’m a andro-trany person thing.• I'm a furry, a therian, and a bit....unhinged around the edges.
• I’m generally cynical and sarcastic with my writting, let that be a warning.
• I'm an avid roleplayer, I've been doing it for longer then I can remeber If your looking for roleplay, poke me.


-Clears throat.- Right, so if all that doesn't bug you, feel free to asked to be added.

I don't mean to sound like an asshole, but if I don't take you seriously, I won't add you, and then you won't get to read all my happy gossip.

And to be taken seriously you need to comment, even if its just ' hey bitch, add me!'.

Comment to be added. Srly.


IMPORTANT : In need of help.
40's style Rainbow
operationtyler
This is the situation at hand. About 3 months back I was kicked out of the place I was living. A friend of mine offered me a place to stay so I wouldn’t be unceremoniously tossed out on my arse. What I wasn’t told was I was to only be there for two weeks, instead its now; nearly 3 months later, I’ve worn a hole in my welcome without even knowing I was doing it. And of course, seeing as I thought I was okay, I didn’t save my money like I should have.


Yes, a dumb move on my end, and I will happily admit that. Though had I known what was going on, I would have been a lot better about it.


Long story short, in those three months I got myself a job, did what most dumb 21 year olds do and spent my money stupidly, thinking things were okay, and just recently lost said job due to the fact that it was a telemarking place. Sales are everything you know?


Cut to now- I've got less then 2 weeks to find somewhere to live, 200 dollars cut as my final check, and no idea what I'm going to do. I've been trolling Craigslist, but I'm having very little luck. Everything keeps falling through, either the room gets taken, or the person offering wants favors that would make me down right uncomfortable and upset.


I guess what I'm looking for is some advice of what I can do or maybe solution to the situation , ending up on the streets is ....well something I really can't deal with, for I'm not sure I'll be able to climb out of that hole if I get there.


Any incite to this would be well appreciated.


Ps. I’m hoping to stay local due to the fact that I may have a job in the works.

Happy mother-fucking-ball-licking new years.
winter, sleep
operationtyler
And I though Christmas time was typically a bitch. But seriously why does it feel like every new years I've had save for maybe 2 or 3 since finding this site in fucking middle school/high school has be announced with those words. Fucking new years.

You know what? Fuck New Years, fuck resulotions and all that turning a new leaf shit. 

Because apparently its all just bull shit. 

People just don't fucking listen. 

I don't understand why I fucking try. 

Hears a knew years resolution for ya. Ready? 

Listen to me, fucking show me enough respect to seriously listen to me,  instead brushing my honest feeling off 'childish' or 'not making any sense'. I've gotten to the point to where I just fucking give up with everything, I don't drop the conversation because I'm done, I drop it because I'm honestly tried of trying to make myself heard.

If me criticizing is such a bad thing, don't do it to me. 

This year has been a mix of the good and the bad, and right now... I'm dead tired if it all. 

I'm tried of feeling fucking ignored, tried of feeling fucking worthless, tired of ....

Fuck.  I'm tried of a lot of things.



Oh yeah, on the despressing little note, for those I haven't told. New lj. DazedPsychosis. Have fun with that. 

(no subject)
winter, sleep
operationtyler
 Talked things out with another friend, Actually took a couple hours to do it, but feeling somewhat better. Taking things day by day at the moment. Seeing what happens and waiting. 

(no subject)
winter, sleep
operationtyler
  The Whole fucking right side of my Jaw is fucking killing me, near tears guys... ow. 

(no subject)
winter, sleep
operationtyler
 Jebus, in all this fucking darkness bullshit, a ray of fucking hope.

2:30 tommrow, I best not fuck this up. 

Completely off topic.
winter, sleep
operationtyler
Buuut, Sherlock and Doctor Who exist in the same universe!  http://community.livejournal.com/sherlockbbc/880019.html 

And this is why I'm temped to give the fuck up.
winter, sleep
operationtyler
 Least see,,, friend is severely  depressed, do you; 

a) Ignore the fact completely
b) Ask what's wrong then ignore or completely disregard what's said
c) Do nothing, in fact make the situation worse. 
d) Ask what's wrong then came they're over reacting.
e) Try to cheer them up, then sulk if you fail.
f) Offer a listen and a hug before offering an opinion 

The answer should be easy, but apparently isn't. Good job world. No not everything on this list has happened, nor is everything that's happened on this list.


Yes. I am being bastardly, yes I'm sulking, but you know what I currently feel like shit, both mentally and physically, I have off and on for  a while now, probably since my tooth chipped, if not before then.. And life continues to fuck me. 

Bloody headache still wont go away, can't take another advil because I'm far beyond a healthy dose already, don't want to push that envelope. But christ its like on thing after another, I've got no bloody control over this any more and if this pounding in my head gets any worse....Eh.

Ugh, whatever,  more ciggertes for me... Woo~ Off to smoke.

Need a new show to watch, really. Maybe the other brit shows I've been thinking of, maybe finish Skins, or start Being Human. Something to get my mind offa this bullshit. 

Yeah, Being Human sounds good, but first more Sherlock.

(no subject)
winter, sleep
operationtyler
 I once had someone tell me that I didn't give a shit about anything. And for a second I thought they were right. But through the years I found out how much bullshit that really was. 

Until right now. 

At this point, I really could honestly give a shit and a half, I mean lets look at it this way shall we? I get in trouble for not feeling, I get in trouble so doing so. I get in trouble for saying something, then I get in trouble for not. Hmm, more examples maybe? I get in trouble for fucking listening to someone, then I get in trouble for not listening.  For doing what I think is right, and for doing what someone else thinks is. 

I can't keep a single thing right in my head, and when I do no matter what it is, I'm fucking wrong about it. 

So, I'm officially done with trying. done with caring, just done. 

Tell me people what have I got going for myself hmm? I've got no job, no money, friends are dropping like flies, no education. What the fuck do I have to show for these 21 years that I've been on this god forsaken plane of exsistance?

I don't even.

I've been trying very very hard right now, to find something to lach onto, been trying for a while, and every single time I think I've found it, I haven't. Its gone the end.

I'm so very tired of people thinking they know how I work, that they know what's going on with me. 

I got called shallow tonight, as if I give a fuck about what people think, as if I really fucking give a flying fuck. Do you really think I would be who I am if I did, that I would be WHAT I AM if I did. Huh? Tell me, please? I don't try to impress people, I don't really care what so-and-so really thinks about anything that makes me me, or that I own. But no apparently thats not the case, apparently people know me better then I do, and can judge this type of things. 

Right well. I am seriously fucking done with caring then. Done trying to connect, do trying to do the right thing, done talking. 

Fuck it, you know? What's the fucking use, all it ever ends up is with the same shit, oh it can some time sometimes, but just when I think everything is safe and good, I'm back to my corner trying so very hard no to cry and trying to understand why I even....

Whatever. 


Unlocked, because really, who gives a flying fuck? 

-_-
winter, sleep
operationtyler
 And just what I thought would happen does. 

Great just bloody fucking great.  You know what. I'm done. Loosing friend over this is the last straw. See you lot. I've got a feeling I'm gonna be gone for a while. 

Changing things up a bit
winter, sleep
operationtyler
Just what the title says lovelies. Going to be updating this just a little more often. If I don't poke me and remind me. There's a lot on my mind that I need to get out, some urgent, some not so much. But before anything I'm going to be redoing my layout, and updating my posting group locks. I'm going to openly state a few of the ones I'm going to be doing. Please let me know if you want to be apart of any of the ones listed, or rather exculded from the 'everyone ones'. This is pretty much for my own organization.

Please comment or I'll have to guess.

Everyone; This will be general access, I won't make a group for these unless someone wants to opt out.

1. Fandoms

2. Furry

3. Everyday life

4. Small to Mild Drama

5. Rambles

Opt in groups

1. Trans issues

2. Larges issues

3. Therian

4. Writing

5. Deep thoughts

Um...what do I do?
....wut
operationtyler
Right kids I need your opion on something.

Recently this character has been brought to my attention. http://www.furaffinity.net/user/kamo

Now I typically wouldn't give two shits but when you look at his fursuit http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3348131 ... Well I start to get alittle furstrated, even more so giving the fact that it was built by someone I used to know rather well.

So my question to you kids...is what do I do? To I let it go? Or do I get in contact with Kamo, or the builder of the suit? Can anything even be done?

As a reff this is my character: well rather just look through my gallery? http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/sinkaline/

(no subject)
winter, sleep
operationtyler
Weekend report to come soon.

GORILLAZ BEENATCHEZ!
winter, sleep
operationtyler
TOKI WON TICKETS TO THE DRESS REHEARSAL!!!! OMFG!!! 

I'M DED YOU GUYZ, JUST DED!

FFFFFFF
winter, sleep
operationtyler
 GAWD DAMN EARTHQAKE THING SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME....


Right. 

I'm better. 

Bloody cat is staring at me.

SuperFast Jelly Fish
winter, sleep
operationtyler
Tags:

(no subject)
Omg
operationtyler
Me, AG and Toki...

Will be..


 GOING TO SEE THE GORILLAZ LIVE!!!! 

(no subject)
winter, sleep
operationtyler
OMG~ Listening to the Gorillaz Stylo Leak!! <3!!!!!

WANT
winter, sleep
operationtyler
http://cgi.ebay.com/GORILLAZ-STYLO-2009-3TRK-SAMPLER-CD-RARE-blur_W0QQitemZ330397030517QQcmdZViewItemQQptZMusic_CDs?hash=item4ced329875 

KALINE WANT!!!!!!

AWAKE
winter, sleep
operationtyler
I need something to do, something to keep me up for a few more hours. I've got a night shift job starting Monday, so I need to fix my sleeping patterns. Any ideas?

BTW say Alvin and the Chipmunks, the Squeal. It was cool.

(no subject)
winter, sleep
operationtyler
I GOT THE FUCKING JOB!!!!!!!!

Oh Snap!
winter, sleep
operationtyler
OH SNAPCollapse )

Want for christmas ;_;
winter, sleep
operationtyler
http://www.tshirtoutlet.com/housemdtshirts.html

I want the Hoodie!

CHRISTMAS CARDS!
winter, sleep
operationtyler
Want you adresses if you want one kids! Thinking about presonalizng them. Comments Screened.

(no subject)
winter, sleep
operationtyler
And Better.

?

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